Colonel Behn Chod

We know nothing about his background, except that he was a colonel in the army, has lost his son , a lieutenant, in a traffic accident and was a renowned user of swear word بہن چود  (sister fucker). His speech is littered with this word. Whenever I hear that he is coming to my city, I ensure my presence on the function he is attending. I locate myself near his sitting in the function and eavesdrop on him.

He is relative of our family friends. I have seen him using the word BC on weddings and funerals with quite an ease. My analysis of his speech is that he uses the word BC when he encounters a pause in his speech like the way people say ‘you know’ during their speech.

People who know him, also know that he does not mean when he says BC. He naturally offends strangers with his colourful speech.

 I have seen him BCing on two occasions. First was when we visited his house to offer condolences on the death of his young son. The colonel was visibly upset. “بڑے بڑے  بہن چود افسر میرے گھر اے ہیں پر کوئی بہن چود میرے بیٹے کو واپس نہیں لا سکتا . (High ranking officials have visited my house, but they can’t bring back my son),” he said to us after we had offered condolences. It was quite shocking for me.

I again witnessed the colonel upsetting mourners with this BCing. It was the third day of the death of the colonel’s relative. A group of villagers had gathered around him. Telling the villagers details of the death, he said, “بہن چود ٹھیک ٹھاک تھا بس اچانک ہی بہن چود بیمار ہو گیا اور فوت ہو گیا. بہن چود نے اپنی بیماری کا کسی کو پتہ ہی نہیں چلنے دیا . بہن چود  نے ایک ہوٹل سے مچھلی کھائی تھی اور پھر بیمار ہو گیا . شریف آدمی تھا بہن چود .