Sunday, August 8, 2010

10 reasons to buy a Russian weapon

Baikal MP 153: My first Russian gun.
1. Every new Russian weapon comes wrapped in the used bra of the quality officer. Most of beauty pageant blonde contestants are given jobs in quality assurance departments in weapon factories. The quality officer writes her name on the bra and puts it in the box. The air-tight box preserves her perfume so well that you can still smell its traces amid the smell of the factory grease even after a year of storage.

2. Russian weapons are extremely rugged. They can take years of abuse and will still outlive you. Ever wanted to give your wifey a gift to remember you, buy yourself a Russian weapon.

3. Russian weapons are heavier than all their counterparts. This characteristic gives them their legendary durability and ruggedness.

4. Its rare to see any part of the Russian weapon breaking. When confused while designing weapon parts, Russians have this very old/odd habit of pouring in more metal instead of redesigning the parts. Given two options (a) a heavier part, but simple design, and (b) a light weight part with complex design,. Russians will pick option (a).

5. There is no aesthetic department in Russian weapon factories. They don’t even design a weapon or anything on paper before putting it in mass production. The only thing that is shown to factory bosses is a working prototype on which all rest of the weapons are made.

6. Russian weapons are cursed to be damn-right ugly and deadly. Just look at AK-47, its one ugliest gun in the world, but bitch is deadly.

7. Russian arm manufacturers have never heard “ammunition sensitivity”. Whatever you put in a Russian weapon, it will fire it.

8. The only (one or two) weapon parts that Russian factories will polish will be the ones required by the gun mechanism and not the user. Baikal IZH-27’s trigger guard is no nasty and rough that it injures the finger. People wrap insulation tape around it to make it little comfortable.

9. Russian weapons are like shoes that your mother, during your early school days, used to buy you despite your hatred for the economical, ugly, grey and out of fashion shoes. Those shoes, as compared to expensive, shinny and fashionable shoes, would last many seasons before your feet would outgrow them but they still won’t break.

10. Russian weapons are a delight to field strip. Even a child would learn it in seconds. Every new model simplifies the simplicity in the last model.

11. Ignore the first point. Blondes and quality assurance can’t simply co-exist.

Below is the video of the gun that I have bought recently. Note: This guy is not me:)

Some thing about the strange habits of Pakistani gun buffs is here.
Dilemma of finding a good budget over-under in Pakistan.


  1. I liked the first one and read your whole blog but at the end it was depressing . . . Saqib

  2. @Saqib, Next time I will try to lift your mood at the end.

  3. @Saqib, I think Russians have started incorporating anti-sagging stuff in the packing material. that will surely lift your mood:)

  4. TH, Hamid tum kub sudhro gay?

  5. wish i could shoot from ur Baikal MP 153 :)

  6. people like you own guns and then try to write about mob lynching! First get your house in order and instead of guns buy books!!!