Benefits of reading newspaper

1. Newspapers are an excellent way of saving your table from the dripping gun solvent.
2. You can clean glass windows and mirrors really well with newspaper.
3. Newspaper can help you lower your cholestrol level. Just place it below any greasy food and the paper will soak most of the oil.
4. Its a cheap alternative to disposable kitchen towels.
5. You can cutout pictures of your favourite actresses and paste those cutouts in your room.
6. You can learn to paint moustaches on the pictures of actresses in the newspaper.
7. Tear apart as many pages of newspaper as you can, affectively managing your anger.
8. You can teach your children to make life size paper boats and aeroplanes.
9. You can wrap bar-b-que in newspaper and control the humidity.
10. The quickest way to make fire as nothing burns more fast than the newspaper.
11. You can kill flies with it.
12. Wrap anything filthy with a newspaper and throw it in dustbin.
13. They can be stuffed in leather shoes to preserve shape.

World's best newspaper: The Toilet Paper

I was sitting in the bar room, deeply lost in some case. All other lawyers were discussing the recent petroleum products price hike. Seeing me not taking interest in the discussion, they asked me had I not read about the price hike. I told them about my media boycott. Most of them knew that I used to work in the media during my LLB degree. I told them the background behind the leading news stories in the papers, convincing them that it was all rubbish and sheer wastage of their time. Now they wanted me to tell them about some good newspaper. I recommended them The Toilet Paper.

A very senior lawyer, who was computer illiterate, even asked me that could he get it from the newspaper stall.

My media friends owe their jobs to Taliban?

On the national media front, Taliban alone are fighting the war to break monotony. On almost all the Mondays, the PPP gets space in the headlines about its new stance in the Supreme Court. The apex court judges give vent to their unfulfilled desires on Tuesdays. The PML-N joins the judges on Wednesday. Taliban come out of their slumber on Thursday, sensing the media’s dire need for some hard news, do a suicide blast.
Friday sees the police officials speaking and Interior Minister Rehman Malik claiming the recovery of the head of the suicide bomber from the blast site. And Saturday has nothing but the fillers. This is the routine of our national media for last so many months.
Had not been Taliban active, my friends in the media would have lost their jobs. At the best my reporter friends can bring rhetoric and that too courtesy of the press releases from political parties’ media wings.