Sunday, June 23, 2013

Army wives

An army wife remains a bhabhi from the first day of her marriage till her death. On my last visit to army graveyard I joked with a cousin that the administration should write bhabhi on the grave stone of all army wives.
No amount of aging can change her Bhabhi status. An army general’s aging wife who applies a lot of concealer to defeat her wrinkles and dark spots is a Bhabhi to a lieutenant and similarly a young lieutenant’s wife is a Bhabhi to the general.
Bhabhi’s have peculiar habits. They all have similar backgrounds. They are mostly from civilian background and after marriage they learn army lifestyle really fast, so fast that they start behaving as if it’s their seventh generation which is living the army lifestyle. They treat civilians and wives of junior commissioned officers with a little condescending attitude.
Bhabhi’s enemy number one is the wife of an army officer who is the son of a subedar. Bhabhis would not invite her to their parties because, according to them, she lacks the status of an army wife.
Bhabhi’s have various inferiority complexes. I once met a Bhabhi who proudly told a civilian wife that she can’t make potato chips but gives French fries to her children for lunch. And she made the f sound by pressing her lower lip with her upper teeth.
Whenever you would ask Bhabhi about a recipe. She would tell you all the ingredients in Urdu and one in English.
A Bhabhi is an expert cook. If she is not, she still likes to be called so. Every recipe of Bhabhi is a homemade recipe. You go to her house for a meal and ask anyone to pass you any dish, the bhabhi would promptly say, its home made.
You: “Bhabhi can I have some salad?”
Bhabhi: Yes, sure, why not, its home made.
You: Can I have some more pudding?
Bhabhi: Sure, its homemade.
You: Bhabhi your kid is very brilliant!
Bhabhi: Yes, it’s homemadeJ
Every Bhabhi has one Bareeze suit in her wardrobe which she wears on functions where she is likely to confront the wife of her husband’s boss not realizing that her husband’s annual confidential report will have a critical view this time because of Bhabhi’s Bareeze suit.
Bhabhi’s proud possession is crystal pieces that she has gathered over a decade from various cities of Pakistan.
Bhabhi’s worst nightmare is her crystal decoration pieces breaking during transfer to another city.
Bhabhi would serve you cold drink in a small glass and ketchup in a frozen bottle. You would unsuccessfully tap the bottle a few times on your plate and then finish your samosa with a full stop size of ketchup on your plate.
Bhabhi would not give paratha to her son for school lunch because subedars’ sons eat paratha in lunchJ
Every Bhabhi is an expert on domestic servants. She remembers good and bad traits of all the servants that had served in her house over the period of decades.
Breakdown of Bhabhis conversation: 40 % fashion, sales, suits and stuff, 20% domestic servants, 40% the wives of army officers who are sons of subedars.

PS: Part of the above stuff is fiction, part reality, part observation. The post was written in a light manner and it is expected to be read in a reciprocating manner.

1 comment:

  1. Lol. Good post.
    Just to add a little bit, a General's wife to a Junior's wife is "appa" not Bhabhi :-)