Lately, my friend Naveed, who works in mobilink, brought a DVD from his office containing national songs. I put the disk in my computer but failed to enjoy the national songs. These songs used to give me goose bumps in the past but not after the death of my dear friend Major Pervaiz Siddique. He embraced martyrdom in an operation against separatist. No one in my family listens to patriotic songs, or reads such literature after his death.
He is one of the two people in my life with whom I or other members of my family have no bitter memories. The other person in my late grand father Professor M Mehfooz.
It’s very easy to read stories of soldiers sacrificing their lives for the motherland and be proud of than loosing a loved one. I used to watch a lot of documentaries on army but not after his death. My voice chocks and tears swell in my eyes. One can’t enjoy the tastes of life during gloom. Food doesn’t taste right, music does not lift mood, traffic noise becomes mute, jokes can’t be enjoyed and laughter becomes alien.
Pakistan has lost so many soldiers and officers in the recent operation in the Malakand division. My uncle left a widow and a son behind. I feel week in my knees when I try to imagine the living conditions of so many widows and orphans. I have very loving and trusting parents and their love have contributed a lot in my brought up. No one can substitute their affection.
Some times I wonder what impact the death of armymen will have on lives of their families. I learnt so many things from my dad. Who will teach these kids? How prospective flaws in their lives will be compensated with?
I can't even tolerate rangers hoisting or lowering the national flag in Wagha border. Perhaps I have seen the other side of the picture.